Melbourne Trip

With Mum deteriorating rather than getting stronger we made the decision on Wednesday to fly to Melbourne to see her. This presented a few problems as we already had flights and hotel bookings in Krabi that had to be cancelled. We're hopeful travel insurance will help defray the costs. That's what you pay those premiums for isn't it? But at the same time we won't be holding our breath. Family is more important than money though.
We got away midday Thursday via Brunei. Hadn't been to Brunei before and on approach it felt a lot like flying into neighbouring Kota Kinabalu or Kuching. 

The airport terminal is very new. So new that as yet there is only one retail outlet in the transfer lounge. We spent 4 hours in Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf or wandering through the vast empty spaces.
I'm so glad I'm not doing this on my own. And from now on, every time I hear "Take my hand/take my whole life too/For I can't help/Falling in love with you" I will be reminded of the Muzak version I sat and listened to on loop for 4 hours there.


And then 3 movies later (Age of Adeline, The Longest Ride and Enough Said) we were in Melbourne, landing at 4:30 am on a brisk morning. Col arrived a short time later to collect us and we were soon in a cozy bed at his place in Mooroolbark. Beth greeted us but was gone when we re-emerged a few hours later having caught up on some sleep, and the kitchen smelt like a bakery with fresh scones and muffins just out of the oven. We met Judy at Maroondah Hospital just before lunch where Mum was waiting to be discharged having been told in the morning that she could go home once she had the all clear. Since she last went home she has had a fall in her own home and collapsed at Col's requiring an ambulance call, not to mention breathlessness and coughing. We had planned that Eric and I would accompany her home, though we all knew she couldn't have done it independently. We all spent a long afternoon waiting for the Dr, the Occupational Therapist and then the Physiotherapist to each do their clearances. Eventually we escaped but it was so late in the day we decided a night at Col's suited everyone better. We lit a fire and with the central heating soon the house was warm, then we had a family dinner together (again provided by Beth who had a commitment in Mitcham) and then Jude went home and the rest of us got an early night. Mum was tired too after all that waiting around, poor thing.

In the morning we walked through Elizabeth Bridge Reserve enjoying the birds before Col took us out to Yarra Glen. That's the Crimson Rosella, Little corellas, tree dwelling Pacific Black Duck, Magpie and Eastern Rosella. We also lots of water birds around the wetlands so a good variety in a short walk. The next few days were spent with Mum at her home in Yarra Glen. We were happy to do whatever it took to make her comfortable and arrange whatever help might be required to allow her to stay there independently after we left. However it became more and more evident as the days moved on that it wasn't going to be possible. While they seem to have been able to arrest the blood condition her heart is too weak now for her to manage anything more than getting from the bed to her favourite chair in the living room. She sat there each day enjoying the Spring-blooming garden through the window, frequently interrupted by her loyal dog Benji coming by to check on her. Deaf as a post now, he didn't seem to understand why she wasn't out in the garden pulling up weeds in the veggie patch and giving him an occasional pat. From her chair beside the fire she called the shots as I sorted out her pantry and began on her wardrobe. Progress was hampered though by the regular arrival of friends who kept calling in to check on her, everyone impressing on us how inspired they have been by her independence and interest in the local community. The Caddy's moved to 'Lindemere', a dairy farm at Dixon's Creek in the Yarra Valley in November 1960. The 3 kids all grew up there and moved away for tertiary education and onto career pathways. Mum and Dad stayed on until 1988 when they moved into 'town', 5 miles down the road. So many people knew Mum and Dad as they were both involved in so many ways in the community. Mum nursed at the hospital, not only on general wards but also helping bring many babies into the district and providing palliative care for others. Growing up on the farm I remember many times when Mum was first point of call for accidents or for confidential advice in difficult personal circumstances. She volunteered help for the Red Cross, the fire brigade, the RSL, the church, all our sporting teams and was a founding member of the committee that got the Community House up and running. I'm sure I have overlooked others but one community group she was very passionate about was the tree planting program where she planted more than her fair share, and mine and yours. In keeping with this community spirit, local charities were the grateful recipients of boot-loads of donations and Benji has a good home to go to. I emptied and washed countless jars from the pantry which have all gone to an upcoming community lanterns project on the lake. I'll have to get some photos of that, my dishpan hands are still soaking up the moisturiser as I type this. Eric cooked our meals, mowed lawns and cleaned up the garage then helped to warm the bed at night. My goodness it has been chilly at night. We did have some sunny days which were pleasant if you could keep out of the wind. We managed some bird watching together in the late afternoons and it was on one of these walks he announced that if we ever did move back to Vic he would like to live in 'The Glen'. But once the sun dipped below the horizon and the chill began to seep in around the neck and wrists he couldn't remember saying that. Among others we saw the New Holland Honeyeater, Superb Fairy Wren and Red Wattlebird.

On Tuesday I had a heart to heart with Mum, a most difficult conversation where I couldn't hold back the tears from her any longer. Physically she is just not capable of living on her own in the big family home anymore and fortunately she has all her wits about her and didn't try to resist, although this must have been a most difficult admission for her to make. We all would have preferred that she stay in her own home until she passes but her weakened heart just doesn't allow for that. So first Col arrived to help see her off and then Roger collected all three of us and we went to their home in Beaumaris for the night. 

They say owls aren't as wise as their reputations purport, but one visited us, sitting on the boundary fence between the house and the golf course. It wasn't at all perturbed by our wonder and I felt an incredibly strong connection with this bird of the wild. Was it Dad telling us he appreciated that we had Mum's best interests at heart and we were making the right decisions? I'll never know but I want to believe it. Mum will stay with Judy initially and then Col and so on until we can find the best long term solution for her.


Rog dropped us at the airport on the Wed morning. We had to leave early as a teetering crane on a construction project in town has caused major disruption to city traffic flow. We managed to avoid the worst of it but could see he was going to have to be very patient on the way home or take a further detour across the Westgate. On the flight back I watched another movie (Danny Collins) and had another good cry. When is this going to stop? Gotta pull myself together!
It is very difficult to be flying back to Singapore today, eased only by the fact that we have another trip already booked to return in September. I thought typing this up as we flew would be therapeutic but I'm not sure the flight attendants understand why I keep weeping.